howmidoing Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello all,
>
> I've been trying to follow the threads here. I'm
> glad I found this discussion forum. I was born
> into S. California church and subsequently left
> CTLW (they combined for Sunday service while I was
> in my teens) about 16 years ago after getting
> married and moving 3000 miles away. It took me
> years to realize that CLTW was indeed a cult.
> Mainly b/c I started attending other Christian
> churches and slowly saw the way that members were
> treated and saw people were not shunned that had
> to leave for jobs or other reasons they were still
> treated as friends. Some repressed memories
> started to dawn on me once I was in a safe and
> secure relationship.
>
>
> I was actually confronted by someone in the new
> church about JRS & CLW being a cult. I was so
> ANGRY! I was in so much denial. But years later,
> after I wised up, I realized that getting away
> from my childhood, and the doctrine was why I took
> the first opportunity I had to get away. These
> people no longer cared about me (basically
> abandoned me) once I was not deemed to be
> following their prescribed tenants of behavior (ie
> submitting to my "Elijah" (pastor) every move I
> wanted to make.
>
> Luckily, I see it now for what it truly is. I see
> how they do nothing Christian as far as helping
> the poor or teaching the Gospel of Jesus and
> salvation of souls. It's simply about expanding
> their own reach, their own gospel and getting
> people into their church. It's not about Jesus at
> all.
>
> I thought I was completely over the pain I
> experienced. My life is pretty darn good; but I
> still struggle with deep depression and suicidal
> thoughts and other issues that crop up without any
> noticeable reason. I recently had a long
> conversation with a friend I went to school with
> at COL (they no longer subscribe either) - and I
> felt so much lighter and freer after being able to
> discuss our childhood and what had happened there.
> It was incredible, I didn't call her to talk about
> this at all but somehow it turned out that it was
> exactly what I needed to discuss with someone that
> UNDERSTOOD. I realized that it's something my
> friends I have made today could not possibly
> understand at all b/c they didn't experience it
> and have no frame of reference. I realize that
> even though I have dear friends, I have no one
> that I can talk to about my life before I left.
> And I notice that I still feel on the fringe of
> Christian and secular society and of my church
> now, I never feel like I can fully fit in. But I
> think this is what I was brainwashed to believe as
> a child.
>
> After some research, I am realizing that much of
> what I experience with emotional distress is
> completely compliant with other ex-cult members
> experiences of slowly healing. I am starting to
> look into cult recovery therapy. Has anyone here
> undergone any beneficial therapy?
>
> Has anyone else felt PTSD like symptoms?
>
> Thanks!
Hello,
Just wanted to say that I was born into the walk/fellowship so to speak, back in the 50's. I left around the 85/86 and went back around 2000, but left a little while after they shut down Grace Chapel. I don't know if anyone ever gets over it completely. Just remember that God loves you and no man has a right to tell you what to do. I would love to see a freedom for all the people in and out of the fellowship to happen.
"It's simply about expanding
> their own reach, their own gospel and getting
> people into their church."
They wouldn't need to be looking for people to come into the church if they didn't run everybody off.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello all,
>
> I've been trying to follow the threads here. I'm
> glad I found this discussion forum. I was born
> into S. California church and subsequently left
> CTLW (they combined for Sunday service while I was
> in my teens) about 16 years ago after getting
> married and moving 3000 miles away. It took me
> years to realize that CLTW was indeed a cult.
> Mainly b/c I started attending other Christian
> churches and slowly saw the way that members were
> treated and saw people were not shunned that had
> to leave for jobs or other reasons they were still
> treated as friends. Some repressed memories
> started to dawn on me once I was in a safe and
> secure relationship.
>
>
> I was actually confronted by someone in the new
> church about JRS & CLW being a cult. I was so
> ANGRY! I was in so much denial. But years later,
> after I wised up, I realized that getting away
> from my childhood, and the doctrine was why I took
> the first opportunity I had to get away. These
> people no longer cared about me (basically
> abandoned me) once I was not deemed to be
> following their prescribed tenants of behavior (ie
> submitting to my "Elijah" (pastor) every move I
> wanted to make.
>
> Luckily, I see it now for what it truly is. I see
> how they do nothing Christian as far as helping
> the poor or teaching the Gospel of Jesus and
> salvation of souls. It's simply about expanding
> their own reach, their own gospel and getting
> people into their church. It's not about Jesus at
> all.
>
> I thought I was completely over the pain I
> experienced. My life is pretty darn good; but I
> still struggle with deep depression and suicidal
> thoughts and other issues that crop up without any
> noticeable reason. I recently had a long
> conversation with a friend I went to school with
> at COL (they no longer subscribe either) - and I
> felt so much lighter and freer after being able to
> discuss our childhood and what had happened there.
> It was incredible, I didn't call her to talk about
> this at all but somehow it turned out that it was
> exactly what I needed to discuss with someone that
> UNDERSTOOD. I realized that it's something my
> friends I have made today could not possibly
> understand at all b/c they didn't experience it
> and have no frame of reference. I realize that
> even though I have dear friends, I have no one
> that I can talk to about my life before I left.
> And I notice that I still feel on the fringe of
> Christian and secular society and of my church
> now, I never feel like I can fully fit in. But I
> think this is what I was brainwashed to believe as
> a child.
>
> After some research, I am realizing that much of
> what I experience with emotional distress is
> completely compliant with other ex-cult members
> experiences of slowly healing. I am starting to
> look into cult recovery therapy. Has anyone here
> undergone any beneficial therapy?
>
> Has anyone else felt PTSD like symptoms?
>
> Thanks!
Hello,
Just wanted to say that I was born into the walk/fellowship so to speak, back in the 50's. I left around the 85/86 and went back around 2000, but left a little while after they shut down Grace Chapel. I don't know if anyone ever gets over it completely. Just remember that God loves you and no man has a right to tell you what to do. I would love to see a freedom for all the people in and out of the fellowship to happen.
"It's simply about expanding
> their own reach, their own gospel and getting
> people into their church."
They wouldn't need to be looking for people to come into the church if they didn't run everybody off.
