rond wrote:
Hi Invisible. Above was my clumsy attempt at self deprecation. Truth be known; I've been married to my best friend for 38 years, and we still adore one another.
If she were to leave me I'd be shattered.
What I was getting at is that Christianity views marriage through a lens that sets the bar unreasonably high. Sometimes relationships don't work out. They just aren't a match, and staying together causes unimaginable pain to both parties as well as the family.
I believe the expectation that God wants people to suffer unnecessarily in a bad marriage is an invention of men to control women.
That's all I was trying to say. Thanks for allowing me to elaborate!
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Hi rond,
A holy hug - for you!
Thank you for your clarification.
I was born serious. My apology - I think I see a kind of humor you intended in "self deprecating." But I had to look up the definition in order to understand better the meaning of what you were expressing in part of what you were posting relating to self deprecation.
One of the things that has concerned me is the idea that marriages are able to be destroyed - because as part of the marriage vows given to marrying couples in TLW, is to vow themselves to be dedicated to the Lord above and over the importance of their own union in marriage. One has to place a lesser value on themselves and potentially discount their relationship with each other and it is unrealized by the marrying couple. So in reality - this idea they hold - does not really allow them to seal fully their union as married - with each other. It leaves a door open for a 3rd party to get in the middle of their relationship. The couples marriage is believed to be valid becaue it appears outwardly to based on being committed to the Lord.
But I do not believe it has anything to do with the Lord - it is like thinking that one really is loving the Lord by forfeiting their relationship with their spouse. The spouse doesn't have to be having an affair with any one else for it to be "Amoral."
And as you probably have seen at some time - marriage check outs and allowing a couple to marry - is often based on the ministry determining that both couples are equally committed to being dedicated to the Lord. And forbidding of marrying has been exercised as well - which is clearly defined in the Scriptures as being man made religion.
Now I also think that some couples - don't really give themselves to the vows they are given in this area - they just let the ministry say what they want to say and they marry each other. But if they are allowing other people ( as a designated relationship ) which oversees their personal lives being a married couple - they have an open door to a third party ( which may meddle ) and a marriage is not 3 people.
I was not addressing abuse or mental cruelty in relationships or infidelity by some of the things I wrote- that's a whole other matter.
I do not think morality can be legislated - people will do what they want to do - you can only try to tell them about what's on that road and the consequences they may face if they travel it.
I do like Proverbs 31. A parent talking to a son about life.
Hi Invisible. Above was my clumsy attempt at self deprecation. Truth be known; I've been married to my best friend for 38 years, and we still adore one another.
If she were to leave me I'd be shattered.
What I was getting at is that Christianity views marriage through a lens that sets the bar unreasonably high. Sometimes relationships don't work out. They just aren't a match, and staying together causes unimaginable pain to both parties as well as the family.
I believe the expectation that God wants people to suffer unnecessarily in a bad marriage is an invention of men to control women.
That's all I was trying to say. Thanks for allowing me to elaborate!
-------------------------------------------
Hi rond,
A holy hug - for you!
Thank you for your clarification.
I was born serious. My apology - I think I see a kind of humor you intended in "self deprecating." But I had to look up the definition in order to understand better the meaning of what you were expressing in part of what you were posting relating to self deprecation.
One of the things that has concerned me is the idea that marriages are able to be destroyed - because as part of the marriage vows given to marrying couples in TLW, is to vow themselves to be dedicated to the Lord above and over the importance of their own union in marriage. One has to place a lesser value on themselves and potentially discount their relationship with each other and it is unrealized by the marrying couple. So in reality - this idea they hold - does not really allow them to seal fully their union as married - with each other. It leaves a door open for a 3rd party to get in the middle of their relationship. The couples marriage is believed to be valid becaue it appears outwardly to based on being committed to the Lord.
But I do not believe it has anything to do with the Lord - it is like thinking that one really is loving the Lord by forfeiting their relationship with their spouse. The spouse doesn't have to be having an affair with any one else for it to be "Amoral."
And as you probably have seen at some time - marriage check outs and allowing a couple to marry - is often based on the ministry determining that both couples are equally committed to being dedicated to the Lord. And forbidding of marrying has been exercised as well - which is clearly defined in the Scriptures as being man made religion.
Now I also think that some couples - don't really give themselves to the vows they are given in this area - they just let the ministry say what they want to say and they marry each other. But if they are allowing other people ( as a designated relationship ) which oversees their personal lives being a married couple - they have an open door to a third party ( which may meddle ) and a marriage is not 3 people.
I was not addressing abuse or mental cruelty in relationships or infidelity by some of the things I wrote- that's a whole other matter.
I do not think morality can be legislated - people will do what they want to do - you can only try to tell them about what's on that road and the consequences they may face if they travel it.
I do like Proverbs 31. A parent talking to a son about life.