Tknc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Really happy to discover this thread. Been
> desperately trying to find more people that I can
> relate my story to that will understand what I
> have/am going through.
>
> When I look back at the reasons I've ended my
> relationships in the past, the answer that rings
> in my ear is my family. They have convinced me to
> end so many relationships that I've been happy in
> and and with because they believed that God did
> not want us to be together or I was being affected
> by being around them.
>
> I was born into The Walk in southern CA ('78). My
> Mom and Dad met at the church in Hawaii. I am not
> sure when, but I think it was in '76. They painted
> this idyllic picture of pure praise and worship.
> The glory days of working for IMPACT, getting
> impartations from JRS, the Brothers all blessing
> me at my baptism, being part of the first fruits.
> They always told us they left when things got bad
> after JRS divorced his wife. I always thought they
> left the cult and it's teachings behind in the
> early 80's, but now i realize they only just
> became a smaller version of it. Instead of JRS, My
> dad and Mom were at the head, me and my sisters
> comprising the Body.
>
> I thought that the secret vocabulary(affected,
> transference, binding, etc..) and practices(such
> as blasting connections, speaking judgement,
> rebuking passivity, etc) were something unique to
> my family. Maybe they borrowed some things they
> learned from the Walk, but for the most part it
> was something they had been developing and trying
> to teach us all this time. It was always evolving
> by my dad and mom's direction, incorporating
> Kabbala, Ouspensky and Gurdjieff, Tarot, sign
> reading, etc... But at the core was maintaining
> your walk with God and loosing his perfect will at
> all costs. This made it very difficult to follow
> and exponentially difficult to share.
>
> I never knew how to explain what my family
> believed so I always left huge chunks out to
> anyone I got close to. This always ended in them
> not understanding why I left them or knowing my
> family coerced me into it. I learned to keep major
> parts of my life secret and tried to protect my
> relationships from them and my family from
> exposure out of loyalty, even when I had major
> doubts about what they believed.
>
> I met my wife online and from the beginning I did
> not let my family know much about it because I
> knew they would get a check on it. Eventually I
> told them and they met her as well. They have
> tried to influence my decisions surrounding her
> from the beginning. Things grew, despite my
> family's involvement. We bought a house together,
> got pregnant and then got married. Every big
> milestone or decision we tried to make, there was
> a very vocal outcry led by my mother that it
> needed to be a certain way. For a long time, I've
> been trying to make compromises between what I
> want to do and what they feel is best for us to
> do.
>
> My wife has tried to relate to them and understand
> their perspective as best she can (with the
> censored version I shared), but they have never
> accepted her. We get along great and do not fight
> much, but when we do it is about one thing: my
> family and mother meddling in our marriage. I'm
> only recently seeing how damaging it has been for
> my wife and destructive to our marriage.
>
> It got so bad, we almost separated. I eventually
> revealed everything to her and she helped me to
> see how destructive this belief system was. I went
> No Contact with my family and we are rebuilding
> apart from them. I've been doing research about
> the walk and I read the Woodrow Nichols book,
> "EXPERIMENT IN END TIME APOSTASY: THE WALK of JOHN
> ROBERT STEVENS The History, Beliefs, and Spiritual
> Dynamics of a Christian Cult"
>
> This book blew me away. Things did not start
> getting bad with Marilyn, JRS was under the
> influence of some very dark things well before
> that. Everything I thought was unique and special
> and worth protecting about my family's belief
> system was born out of JRS's delusional ego and
> spread through fear and control. This is not
> something that needs protecting, it needs
> exposure. It almost destroyed my wife and kid's
> lives. Something I thought had died almost 40
> years ago has only been growing in all of us.
> Inception of the highest order.
I liked your post. My Mom once told me that Bessie, Marilyn's mother, was concerned that John was like a Svengali to Marilyn. I find it helps to keep seeking and sorting things out. And when you recognize. Something is off. Say something.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Really happy to discover this thread. Been
> desperately trying to find more people that I can
> relate my story to that will understand what I
> have/am going through.
>
> When I look back at the reasons I've ended my
> relationships in the past, the answer that rings
> in my ear is my family. They have convinced me to
> end so many relationships that I've been happy in
> and and with because they believed that God did
> not want us to be together or I was being affected
> by being around them.
>
> I was born into The Walk in southern CA ('78). My
> Mom and Dad met at the church in Hawaii. I am not
> sure when, but I think it was in '76. They painted
> this idyllic picture of pure praise and worship.
> The glory days of working for IMPACT, getting
> impartations from JRS, the Brothers all blessing
> me at my baptism, being part of the first fruits.
> They always told us they left when things got bad
> after JRS divorced his wife. I always thought they
> left the cult and it's teachings behind in the
> early 80's, but now i realize they only just
> became a smaller version of it. Instead of JRS, My
> dad and Mom were at the head, me and my sisters
> comprising the Body.
>
> I thought that the secret vocabulary(affected,
> transference, binding, etc..) and practices(such
> as blasting connections, speaking judgement,
> rebuking passivity, etc) were something unique to
> my family. Maybe they borrowed some things they
> learned from the Walk, but for the most part it
> was something they had been developing and trying
> to teach us all this time. It was always evolving
> by my dad and mom's direction, incorporating
> Kabbala, Ouspensky and Gurdjieff, Tarot, sign
> reading, etc... But at the core was maintaining
> your walk with God and loosing his perfect will at
> all costs. This made it very difficult to follow
> and exponentially difficult to share.
>
> I never knew how to explain what my family
> believed so I always left huge chunks out to
> anyone I got close to. This always ended in them
> not understanding why I left them or knowing my
> family coerced me into it. I learned to keep major
> parts of my life secret and tried to protect my
> relationships from them and my family from
> exposure out of loyalty, even when I had major
> doubts about what they believed.
>
> I met my wife online and from the beginning I did
> not let my family know much about it because I
> knew they would get a check on it. Eventually I
> told them and they met her as well. They have
> tried to influence my decisions surrounding her
> from the beginning. Things grew, despite my
> family's involvement. We bought a house together,
> got pregnant and then got married. Every big
> milestone or decision we tried to make, there was
> a very vocal outcry led by my mother that it
> needed to be a certain way. For a long time, I've
> been trying to make compromises between what I
> want to do and what they feel is best for us to
> do.
>
> My wife has tried to relate to them and understand
> their perspective as best she can (with the
> censored version I shared), but they have never
> accepted her. We get along great and do not fight
> much, but when we do it is about one thing: my
> family and mother meddling in our marriage. I'm
> only recently seeing how damaging it has been for
> my wife and destructive to our marriage.
>
> It got so bad, we almost separated. I eventually
> revealed everything to her and she helped me to
> see how destructive this belief system was. I went
> No Contact with my family and we are rebuilding
> apart from them. I've been doing research about
> the walk and I read the Woodrow Nichols book,
> "EXPERIMENT IN END TIME APOSTASY: THE WALK of JOHN
> ROBERT STEVENS The History, Beliefs, and Spiritual
> Dynamics of a Christian Cult"
>
> This book blew me away. Things did not start
> getting bad with Marilyn, JRS was under the
> influence of some very dark things well before
> that. Everything I thought was unique and special
> and worth protecting about my family's belief
> system was born out of JRS's delusional ego and
> spread through fear and control. This is not
> something that needs protecting, it needs
> exposure. It almost destroyed my wife and kid's
> lives. Something I thought had died almost 40
> years ago has only been growing in all of us.
> Inception of the highest order.
I liked your post. My Mom once told me that Bessie, Marilyn's mother, was concerned that John was like a Svengali to Marilyn. I find it helps to keep seeking and sorting things out. And when you recognize. Something is off. Say something.