Cult leaders want to monopolize your entire social network. Why?
Because you come to believe that there is nothing for you outside the cult.
Inside of a cult, we no longer make social connections on our own initiative, certainly not with total strangers. We lose practice in knowing how to give that
extra shove of effort needed to instigate first contact with a stranger and then that second shove we have to give to follow up.
Starting and maintaining social connections in the unstructured busy world
is kind of like lighting a fire in the rain and then keeping that fire going.
Lots of extra effort is needed.
Inside a cult, there's a sheltered environment and structure. Maintaining relationships is probably easier, like lighting a fire in a fireplace. Once it is lit, and with dry wood pre arranged, that fire needs little effort to stay lit. In the group, the pool of people with whom we can socialize is pre selected, which makes social encounters predictable. Many distractions
are eliminated. Inside of a cult, where the leader must be kept pleased and in control, people probably return messages very quickly.
Flaking out/not replying/ghosting is forbidden. Very different from the outside world.
We lose practice engaging with people whose beliefs and opinions are different.
Get used to living within the ready made social network of the cult and our ability to socialize outside of the church, our ability to generate new social contacts and relationships on our own initiative -- those skills get rusty from lack of use. Add in the cult messages that the outside world is inferior or
downright evil and fear of leaving ('exit costs') increases.
Because you come to believe that there is nothing for you outside the cult.
Inside of a cult, we no longer make social connections on our own initiative, certainly not with total strangers. We lose practice in knowing how to give that
extra shove of effort needed to instigate first contact with a stranger and then that second shove we have to give to follow up.
Starting and maintaining social connections in the unstructured busy world
is kind of like lighting a fire in the rain and then keeping that fire going.
Lots of extra effort is needed.
Inside a cult, there's a sheltered environment and structure. Maintaining relationships is probably easier, like lighting a fire in a fireplace. Once it is lit, and with dry wood pre arranged, that fire needs little effort to stay lit. In the group, the pool of people with whom we can socialize is pre selected, which makes social encounters predictable. Many distractions
are eliminated. Inside of a cult, where the leader must be kept pleased and in control, people probably return messages very quickly.
Flaking out/not replying/ghosting is forbidden. Very different from the outside world.
We lose practice engaging with people whose beliefs and opinions are different.
Get used to living within the ready made social network of the cult and our ability to socialize outside of the church, our ability to generate new social contacts and relationships on our own initiative -- those skills get rusty from lack of use. Add in the cult messages that the outside world is inferior or
downright evil and fear of leaving ('exit costs') increases.